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| I came across the ladder theory a couple years ago, and then after checking with my guy friends, I finally come into conclusion that guys cannot be "just friends" with girls. But then, I came across a whole lot nerdy guys, and I realized that ladder theory did not take account of nerdy guys who don't have actual balls to hit on girls.
This website sums it up very nicely: http://www.newton.cx/~peter/docs/ladder-corr.html
This explains a lot. Why that nice guy stopped calling me when he found out that I actually hang out with a real group of people and socialize outside nerd community. Usually I just figured that he had no balls and I don't really want a guy like that anyway in my life. But then again, after dating some guys who have balls, they actually have the balls to screw you over too. So I'm sticking with guys with no balls now, because if he has no balls to pursue me aggressively, he would have no balls to screw me over.
Basically, on the case of nerds, sometimes I have to make the first move, or at least, show interest. Sometimes though, friendly gestures can also mean "Oh my god, I'm so in love with you, let's make a baby now."
Sometimes, even though I've done my part of showing interest, nerdy guys wouldn't dare to make any move one step above platonic relationship. They won't dare to suddenly hold my hand, they won't dare to make stupid and flirtatious jokes, because, I might get offended and won't see them anymore. But also, their definition of stupid and flirtatious jokes are completely different than the norms. Basically, they're just clueless on how to be cool.
They are surprised that I can understand their jokes about andamantium, or share their interest on the super cool Moore's law. They don't really care if my hair is not perfectly combed, because hey, as long as I got boobs, it's good enough.
They also have no clue as to what effort girls put to their appearances, because they probably never spend a lot of time with one. In this case, nerds with somewhat cool sister have the advantage. If his sister is also a nerd, then they're doomed as well.
Nerds are just guys. Which means, they also want to tap that sexy slutty chick dancing provocatively on the dance floor. But because the logical side of them, and also don't forget the lack of balls, they would not even attempt to talk to her.
Also, nerds generally do not like competition. They just assume that the girls don't wanna go out with them, and hence, there is no need to embarrassed themselves further. It's better to be "just friends" with the girls, hoping that someday, she would realize that the guy she picked was actually either a loser or idiot and then she would realize that you were the one who're always there and would never leave her.
Also, the thing that irked me the most is, why do nerds never make an aggressive move? They called you once or twice, they msg you on AIM, but they would never tell to the whole world, "She's mine, I want her, and all of you losers better back off."
Now, where's my nerd?
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| Being frugal is hard. Especially when you hang out with friends who spend money as if they shit money.
So, I've come to realization that my bank account is never gonna expand at the rate that I want them to. (Wait, you're telling me that sharp exponential increase doesn't make sense?)
So I looked back through my better years, where I was known as the frugal queen. But that was back then when I have no social life whatsoever. Now, I have one, and it's a costly one. Hence to resolve this pertinent issue, I have made a list of my priority.
1. Friend's birthday or any celebration (wedding, bridal shower, baby shower).
This is a good excuse to spend money. Actually, there is no excuse to be cheap at all because it's your friends. Don't burden your friends' happy day with unnecessary complaints about how you can't afford the full meal at their chosen restaurant, and how you would just order appetizer and water.
This, however, can be broken if you really couldn't care less about the person. Like the girlfriend of your best guy bud that you can't really relate to. If you do choose this route, working late for a job, relatives are in town, are both good and valid excuses to skip on an expensive dinner and join later for the after-dinner drinks.
2. Clothing and accessories.
There is no way I would be photographed wearing the same outfit twice. Or the same fancy necklace. Target is my loyal friend. They have cute accessories. Their tags can be carefully put back together. They accept returns without questions. Enough said.
As far as clothing, well, I feel bad returning clothes. This you would have to suck it up and keep an eye on stuff that goes on sale. ArdenB had done particularly well in creating cheap party dresses even cheaper. You just have to look for the ones that do not have "slut" embroidered on them.
3. Food for myself.
Maybe I shouldn't put "food for myself" so low in the list. But seriously, I would rather spend 20 bucks on a cute blouse that I could wear on weekend than to eat gourmet pasta for lunch. So save the restaurants spending for the weekend with the girls/guys, and cook yourself a meal for the weekdays.
4. Entertainment and technology
With hulu.com posting most of the TV series worth watching, is it really that necessary to pay for cable? With cheap laptop able to output 1080p, you're basically all set. Early adopters are either, compulsive, rich, or just stupid. Moore's Law is alive, China is expanding, and consumer products become commodity. No brand new technology is worth buying. Wait until everyone and their mother own one, and then purchase it. And then brag about how you pay half than what they paid previously with better features.
5. Pay off those car payments. I tried not to have credit card debt. Credit card debt is such a bitch. Enough said.
Ok. That's my list for now. I admit sometimes it's hard to not buy a new dress for the big weekend celebration because I really have nothing to wear. Or sticking to your home made meals for the whole weekdays. Just remember. Short term restrain = long term gain.
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| I hate the term over achieving. It's as if I never really do something because I wanted to. It's against all my desire and passion. I only do whatever it is I'm doing because I have to.
Yea.
Enough.
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| So, today I received a long ass letter from the weird guy. Since I think it's best that I don't reply to him anymore, although I wanted to, just because he said some totally illogical stuff that pissed me off.
Dear Weird Guy,
Please stop harassing me with your various cards. You might think it's cute to send me a gobble gobble card for thanksgiving, along with two paragraphs on how beautiful and perfect I am in every way, but it's not. I'm not perfect in every way, and reading about it just reminds me on how imperfect I am. Also, who sends card for thanksgiving!??! and how the hell did you know my full address?!?!?!
Please also stop asking me what you've done wrong. I told you that it's not personal. I just don't like you. Well fine, I might open up my heart more if you don't have an actual pair of manboobs. I'm sorry, I'm shallow, I can't help it. I might overlook the manboobs fact if you don't keep saying that you were once HOT and desired by lots of girls.
You broke up with your ex because she's not hot enough? Again, please check reference to your manboobs.
You wrote that because I have had plenty of failed relationships that would never transpire to long term relationships, your strategy was to skip the "dating" phase and just jump ship to marriage, a.k.a. long term relationship. How the heck can you commit to a long term relationship if you don't even know the person?
Also, please stop trying so hard to be a comedian. You're not funny, and I'm not amused. If anything, it's freakin annoying to read your jokes. And yeah, perverted jokes are never funny.
kthxbye.
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| some people asked me if I still keep in touch with my ex bff. I told them, no. she broke my heart by dissing out my secret to everyone.
the truth is, that's the not real reason. i was pulling away from her at that time and that was just my last straw. an opportunity that I saw to get away from her. she was, for lack of better word, my rebellious girlfriend. she was nothing like me. she was the girl I hated back in high school because she was so popular. she was an airhead, common sense meant nothing to her, and she was oh so emotional and girly. she was what I wish I could have been, but know that I could never be.
she went through life like the tomorrow is set for her. she has all the sense of entitlement and felt no remorse of using guys. she was the ultimate bitch, flaunting her femininity and big puppy eyes to get guys crumble in her palm. she possessed countless personalities, and just like a psychological chameleon, she could change her personalities to suit her surroundings, to get what she wants. she knows when to act coy, when to act bitchy, when to lie to say sorry, when to turn the truth, and when to bow down like a geisha.
i can see through her, for I witness the sudden flip flops in her personalities. it was bitchy when she ran into other bitches, it was coy around good looking guys, it was girly and understanding when she ran into other girls, it was demure asian girls when she was around her bf's parents.
for months, i've studied her, and for once, I grew tired of her continuous acting. it was as if there is no real her. the real her is buried so deep, sometimes it's lurking and popping its head up, only for her to spin the truth to drawn the real her.
she was my rebellious phase girlfriend. i could be bad, i could be nice, i could hate people, i could cheat on my bf, i could spread secrets, none of those were our fault.
there is no remorse. she's always right, and i was her puppet. but now i grew tired of it, and it's time to cut the strings, especially the bad ones.
goodbye, bff. i will love you always, but never again.
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