| | As far as I can remember, I hate talking in public. Having all eyes on me. Even a simple thing as when I came back home and my parents parading me around to their friends.
But on the other side, isn't it what drives me to look better? Spending countless times trying to properly apply make up, countless hair products, expensive trial and error skincare regimen? So people take notice of me? So when I walk into the room, I want those eyes on me?
It's really ironic. Obviously I don't wear make up or do my hair when I'm home alone, so my eagerness of looking youthful and beautiful are for other people to see, but I always feel uncomfortable during those moments when those eyes are actually on me.
Well, thanks to my over narcissistic personality, I never actually thought other people criticizing me. I actually thought they are looking at me because I look good. So I can skip the insecurity part. I just feel like a piece of meat sometimes, when the other business men look at me from head to toe.
So now, in my line of work, I actually HAVE to go out and meet people. It's very tiring and draining a lot of energy from me, actually. I have to do my hair, do my make up properly, and wear nice clothes and matching shoes.
I'm a quiet person by nature, so it's hard for me to try to initiating conversation with someone if that someone is also, a shy people. I feel like I'm an actress in a movie and I have to act a certain way. Trust me, that is very tiring if you have to do it in daily basis. Luckily if I'm back in the office, I can return to my bitter and quiet self, which is more comforting.
Anyway, since I'm handling new accounts now, I have to do a lot of meeting new people and try to impress them so that they would want to see me another time. Being an eye candy is not bad, but sometimes I came across perverts and those are never good. I feel like hitting them with my pointy manolo in the head. Also since I look younger than I actually am (which is a good thing, not complaining, I hope those lines would never settle on my face), everyone assumes I'm fresh out of school, which is good since I can play innocent and naive card. Very helpful in some situation.
Back to work.
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| | Posted 6/29/2009 7:26 PM - 2 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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